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Ad Nausea

I feel like we just took down the cobwebs from the curtains and cleaned the egg yolk from the windowpanes. The last of the stuffing just made its way into a sandwich and we are already sweeping up busted tree ornaments; compliments of our new kitten.

I have heard roughly a hundred times this season that Christmas is coming way too early. Right or wrong, the real point is that no one cares.

If you don’t want to put up decorations yet; don’t. If you don’t want to go shopping for presents; that’s okay. Just shut up about it.

Yes, two of my preset radio stations started exclusively playing Christmas songs weeks ago and I was a bit bummed. But they were soft rock stations anyway and I wasn’t exactly rushing to my car to hear Hall and Oates every morning. Commercials began their holiday themes before Halloween had even happened.

What do you intend to accomplish by complaining about it? Do you think that the CEO’s will hear your cries of defiance and hand back the millions and millions of dollars they receive for ad space? Of course not. Personally, I think it’s crazy that we jam a specific holiday down everyone’s throat when it’s not a nationally celebrated event. It is a holiday that comes with a very specific belief structure, compiled from another religion with a very different belief structure.

So here is my solution. We don’t need to increase the ad time for other holidays. We need to decrease the ad time that we currently have and just dedicate that air time to what these holidays are supposed to represent.

For every department store commercial, we can replace it with a volunteerism PSA.

For every new toy ad, replace it with people reaching out to one another. Let’s drop all of this “wah wah” cry baby stuff and either get over it or celebrate by reading quietly because the ads aren’t going to stop.

The reason that these commercials will always exist is because there is a large percentage of people that have no idea how to buy presents for people. I have seen more scented candles given in the name of ignorance than I care to admit.

These advertisements are a shrewd attempt to influence those unable to decide what to buy for others. Until sales for tacky ties and “Precious Moments” figurines plummet, these ads will continue non-stop through February. Then Valentine’s day will give us all something to be bummed about.

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