10: Japan scrambles Jets
After two Russian jets entered Japanese air space near Hokkaido, Japan sent up fighter jets to investigate. Russia denies the claim, possibly to keep tempers low before an upcoming meeting between the Prime Ministers of Japan and Russia.
Does this sound like “buzzing the tower” a la “Top Gun”?
9: Tony Danza divorced
Tony Danza finalized the divorce of his 24 year long marriage to Tracy Danza.The cited reason was irreconcilable differences.
How much do you want to bet that all of the money from “The Garbage-Picking, Field Goal Kicking, Philadelphia Phenomenon” just ran out? Women, am-I-right?
8: A Toast to Kathie Lee and HodaAfter drying out for a month and abstaining from alcohol, Kathie Lee and Hoda Kotb celebrated today with some morning wine, followed by cocktails, and then shots.
So, commercials showing drinking in a bar at a reasonable hour = atrocious and a daily morning show aired on network television showing two women drinking during breakfast time = quality television? But, don’t say the fuck.
7: Steven Tyler in Court
Steven Tyler will be appearing in the Hawaiian State Legislation to testify in favor of the “Steven Tyler Act” which states that people can collect damages stemming from being photographed unsafely during personal time.More than a dozen celebrities have submitted testimony in support of the bill; Avril Lavigne, Neil Diamond, and Tommy Lee to name a few.
You know, when I think of celebrities that are constantly shoved down our throats, I definitely think of Neil Diamond, Steven Tyler, and soon to be Mrs. Nickleback.
6: Tori Spelling stranded on road side
After her car started leaking gas, Tori Spelling pulled over with her four kids in tow and posed for an instagram picture.
I bet she used the filter called “how about Cleveland?”
5: Eerie w-2 causes employee to quit
In Tennessee, Walter Slonopas resigned from his job after his w-2 was stamped with the number 666. He believes that to accept the w-2 would mean pledging allegiance to the devil. This was not the first time Slonopas was met with the number of the beast. One two other occasions, the number was given to Sloponas which resulted in his resignation until the employer apologized.
Clearly, someone is trying to tell him something. That something is, “I would be less worried about the 666 on my w-2 and more about the $0.00 in my bank account.”
4: Condoleezza Rice slices into a spectator
Rice, hooked a shot into the crowd at the Pebble Beach Golf Course in Florida. The woman suffered a small cut and bruises but was otherwise okay and Rice and her partner finished at -70 for the day.
She must have learned sport determination from Dick Cheney. Blast someone in the face? Just keep on a-going.
3: Boy bullied into coma
In January, 11 year old Bailey O’Neill was allegedly beaten up by a couple of boys at school where they fractured his nose and gave him a severe concussion. In the weeks that followed, O’Neill’s parents noticed a change in his behavior. He seemed downtrodden and didn’t want to eat. It wasn’t until today when the boy started to have violent seizures, that he was placed into a medically induced coma.One of the alleged bullies was suspended for two days.
It warms my heart to know that a little kid can be admonished for throwing an imaginary grenade but breaking someone’s face and causing them to be hospitalized gets you a couple days vacation from school.
2: John Mayer admits he was “a jerk”
That’s basically all there is to this story and it is somehow the number two trending thing on Yahoo.
1: Mom and Son make out
Kimberly Margeson allegedly passed drugs to her son via kiss while visiting him in jail. They insist that the drugs (a couple of oxycodone pills) were for personal use and not for sale.
Hey guys, that’s not really the focus is it. You kissed your son to give him narcotics while he was in prison for a weapons charge.
Why didn’t you just bake them into some file cake?
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